Dating and Herpes, Part I

Finding out you have genital herpes can be a bummer.  But it doesn’t have to spell the end of your social life!  Dating and herpes don’t have to be mutually exclusive.  Many people are out there actively dating with genital or oral herpes.  Here are some ways for you to deal.

Make sure to tell your partner before things get hot ‘n steamy.  Sometime towards the end of the second date is usually a good time for these sorts of disclosures.  Don’t wait until you’re already rolling around under the covers!  It’s very important to understand that when you tell him you have herpes, you’re not confessing anything – you did nothing wrong.  You have herpes, what’s the big deal?  It’s a simple condition, that’s very easily kept under control.  80% of the US population already has some sort of herpes, and most of them don’t even know it!  Keep in mind that the likely situation here isn’t that you have herpes and he doesn’t – it’s more like you know about you’re condition, and he’s less informed.  Knowledge can be an advantage!

If your partner is freaking out because of some silly virus, it might be a good idea to have HIM tested.  Chances are, he’s positive for herpes, or possibly something even more serious.  Either way, he’ll be assured that you’re together in the same boat, and possibly better informed about his own health (and so will you!).  Remember, if you’re testing for herpes, he needs to get tested at least 16 weeks after his last sexual encounter (which might also be a second date disclosure).  If you find out that you both have herpes, then it’ll at least make a great bonding experience – you can go together to the pharmacy with your Valtrex prescriptions, or sit at your computer and buy generic Valtrex online!